And Now?

2 11 2014

I come back to this blog every so often to find something I wrote, or to determine a time that something happened to the girls. It makes me happy.  And sad.  It has gone so fast and things have changed so much.  Maya is in her senior year of high school now.  She just applied to Stanford (yikes!) and is mostly gone doing her own thing.  She is such a great person and will be fine. Oh god, when she leaves I’ll miss her.

Sophie is a Sophomore at the School of the Arts.  She is at a school where her drawings in the margin of her homework are not frowned upon.  She is undeniably and boisterously herself there. I can’t stand it how happy she is.  She is almost “done”, too.

I find myself with so much time on my hands.  I don’t know what to do now that I’m not the single Mom of two little girls who needs to get her shit together and figure out how to make it to the next paycheck and how to makes cookie and deliver them to the school function and do laundry and wipe their feverish foreheads and read them books and take them on adventures.

More often than not I find myself able to sit and read for an entire Saturday afternoon.  I find myself going somewhere with my friends and not worrying that the house is burning down or if they had lunch or if they miss me like I miss them.  Well, I actually do wonder if they miss me like I miss them – but I’m pretty sure they are to busy being ridiculously awesome at their lives to think of stuff like that right now.

That is just what I hoped for – what I knew was coming, but didn’t want to think about.  It is here.

What do I do now?