How to Make Someone Laugh

27 09 2009

I realize that I am letting my children write for me lately.  They seem to be doing a better job than I am!  I found this little gem stuck in an old notebook.  This is from last fall when Sophie was in fourth grade, but the tricks still work and make me laugh every time!

Make Someone Laugh


Thank You Craigslist

25 09 2009

The Thriller Killer

24 09 2009

Maya is adjusting to Junior High so well. Her kind and gentle nature overrides any tendency toward biting sarcasm and violence.

As part of her English class she described a new Roller Coaster design that she would like to build for the sweet little children.

I am so proud.

The Thriller Killer

That Bastard!

23 09 2009

Remember the mystery of the Scooter Thief?  If not, please read this post.

We have been hit again.  This time, it was Sophie’s bike.  This wasn’t just any bike.  It was a 1970’s – ish Schwinn cruiser, spray-painted red with chrome fenders and whitewall tires.  It was beat up, but it was cool.  We procured it at a garage sale down the street and she loved it very much.

It was parked alongside my house…far from the street…and I was home all day today working.  When did it disappear?  Who is the little bastard that took it?  I wish I knew so I could chase him down in my car.

She is crying, so sad that she is the only kid on the block without a bike.  A bike is not in the budget. 

I’m pretty sure it is the little fucker Justin down the street.  He steals everything from everyone and the entire neighborhood has been up in arms about him.  I called the cops and they are going to his house to take a look around. 

We’ll see.

He’s a seasoned thief now, and probably hid it pretty well already.

I have called everyone on this street, and there are more than a few of us running reconnaissance missions past his house tonight and in the upcoming days.

This kind of thing just sets my hair on fire.

Midge the Talking Dog

21 09 2009

<insert some sort of crazy jingle here>

Busy, busy, busy…but not too busy to teach my dog another language!!!

It Takes Many Years To Walk To Asia

16 09 2009

Boy, this teacher is JUST ASKING for more frowning flowers….


Aced It!

15 09 2009

Washington State has an assessment test for its students called the WASL (Washington Assessment for Student Learning).  It is your standard assessment test – with its standard problems and controversy surrounding it.  Do the teachers teach only to the test and ignore everything else?  Does the test measure one group well and another not so well?  Are standardized tests even necessary? 

There is much discussion.

This year the WASL will be replaced by yet another type of standardized test that, I’m sure, will not measure up. 

All that said, I got the girls’ WASL scores from last year.  Maya’s were great.  She “Exceeded all Grade Level Standards” in her two tests (Math and Writing I think).  Sophie had tests in three areas last year, Reading, Writing and Math.  She also “Exceeded all Grade Level Standards”. 

Of course, whether I believe that the WASL is a good or a bad thing, this made me very happy.  But I was astounded to find that out of 475 points possible on the Reading part of the test Sophie scored…..(drumroll)…..a 475.

That’s pretty damn good!

Not surprising after you have heard her retell any story that she has ever read, or any incident she has ever witnessed.  Not only will you get every stinkin’ detail, but you will also get the color of the shirt of everyone involved and whether she believes they might have got that particular shirt on sale the previous weekend at the store because, don’t you remember?  There was a 50% off sale on that rack of shirts by the front door?

The girl has scary recall abilities.

And I’m proud.