Time Out at the Science Fair

21 04 2008

Craziness has taken over my life.  I submit to you just an example from this weekend’s festivities:


·         8:00 am – Leave with Sophie for Science Fair judging.

·         10:30 am – still at Science Fair judging, waiting for John to come relieve me so I can take Maya to her end-of-session skating test.

·         10:35 am – John is late (on purpose, I swear)

·         11:15 am – Just barely make it to skating.  Maya passes on to the next level, Alpha 2.

·         12:15 pm – Meet John and Sophie at the fair, it begins to snow.

·         12:30 pm – The girls are so cold that they don’t even want to stay, but we spend some time in the buildings.

·         1:00 pm – We view Sophie’s hand woven bracelet that she made at school.  She got a blue ribbon.

·         1:30 pm – drive to Maya’s friend’s house.  I promised to help her Mom pack.  Remind me to tell you a bit more about this woman someday. 

·         Rest of afternoon and evening – help clean out garage.  It is so full of crap and garbage it is completely unbelievable.  There is actually rat crap everywhere.  I have to go outside every now and then to hide my gagging.  And I don’t gag easily.

·         8:30 pm – Take my girls and hers home for a sleep over.



·         8:30 am – Take all the girls back to this woman’s house to help her pack up stuff inside this time.

·         8:45 am – Realize that the inside of her house is almost as filthy as her garage.  But on a good note, I found no rat poop.

·         8:45 – 10:30 am – Continually marvel at the amount of nastiness that can be in a kitchen.  Use lots of soap, cleaning supplies and magic erasers.  Discover that the walls are not actually gray, that they should be white.

·         10:30 am – Go to a co-worker’s house to help her fix her garbage disposal.  I am successful and victorious.  I also feel quite smug.

·         1:00 pm – 4:30 – Dive back into the filth.

·         4:30 – 5:30 pm – Somehow get the girls and I all showered and non-gross and head to the Fairgrounds for the Science Fair Awards Ceremony.

·         5:30 pm – Maya becomes a pouty horrible brat and is mean to Sophie through the whole thing.

·         7:00 pm – Sophie does not win a ribbon (except for participation) and tries to hold back tears.

·         7:05 pm – Maya teases Sophie about not winning.  On the way out of the building I pull her to the side and have a very INTENSE “talk” with her.  All the good Science Fair parents stare at us and fear for Maya’s life.  I tell Maya that “I will sit your ass down in the middle of all these people and give you a time out if you want to act like a three year old”.  Yes.  I said “ass” at the Science Fair.

·         7:06 pm – One of Maya’s friends from school walk by with her parents, they look at me like I might be too mean.  I look at them like I might rip their heads off if the say anything to me.

·         7:07 – 8:30 pm – Sophie cries a bit about no ribbon, but is okay.  Maya cries a lot and does a myriad of chores before going to bed.  I feel no remorse.





7 responses

22 04 2008

No remorse? Good. Tough love prevails.

‘I said ‘Ass’ at the Science Fair’ sounds like a power-pop punk song.

22 04 2008


OK, who’s the dirty woman (and I mean “dirty” in a bad way), and why have you been corralled into being everybody’s waste cleanup maiden?

Agree with toast – sounds like tough-love is the way forward. Don’t worry about the judgemental looks of other parents – they probably spoil their kids something rotten, and bring up hideous ones as a result. My parents have plenty similar stories from the annals of me and my sister…

23 04 2008

Don’t come near my back shed then. I have a cabinet there my dad can’t possibly part with (that NO JOKE has not been used in 25 years) that has had a rat nest in it at some point in the past 13 years. I don’t go to the shed more than once a year and only if entirely necessary if I can help it.

Gross, just gross. And it wasn’t even YOUR house. You deserve an Order of America (um, if you have that kind of thing) for bravery.


23 04 2008

(Ohh, wrong email address on that last one. It’s my spam account – don’t think badly of me!!)

24 04 2008


Here’s to straightening kids out IMMEDIATELY when they act up, rather than pooh-poohing about ‘time outs’ and the like.

I encountered a mum at W*l Mart a few weeks ago, tearing into her kid (around age 3-5) like there was no tomorrow.

I listened to the entire rant (which was hysterical) and had to fight the urge to cheer her on.

“I said ASS at the Science Fair!” would make an EXCELLENT t-shirt.

Way to go, mom!

6 01 2014

I am the one “in-charge” at our school’s science fair. Would you say *it* once for me since if I say it I’ll get in trouble?

28 04 2008

Oooh, I had ‘one of those’ moments yesterday evening, when Thing 2 was being a horrible brat and I TORE into him. Not at all like me, but the chair-banging and the throwing crap around and the pestering his brother had gotten me ot the boiling point…a friend who saw the whole thing said he’d never seen me move with such ‘alacrity’ or something.

I take from this that I’m a pushover far too regularly. Sigh. Here comes the tough love ,even for boys who are exhausted from last night’s sleep-over.

Also? Ew on the rat poop. Totally EW.

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