31 08 2006

Go to Google and search the word “Failure”.

See what lists first.


*Guess* What We Did This Weekend

30 08 2006

This weekend was spent at home. No pictures were taken.

I will give you one hint – my shopping list from Friday night (in it’s entirety):

Coffee – Whole Bean Espresso Roast
Coffee Creamer – Vanilla
Hefty Garbage Bags – XL, the black drawstring kind
Tampons – Multipack
Gum – Eclipse Spearmint
Beer – 12 pack of Fat Tire

(I am astounded that chocolate was not purchased, as it goes so well with tampons.)

So, what do you think we did?


29 08 2006

As most of you know, Grace the neighbor kid is just like one of my own. She lives two houses down with her Mom and Dad, Natalie and Mistah (his name is really Eric, but Sophie just calls him Mistah – and it has stuck).

The girls’ nanny, Mickie, is a fantastic 68-year-old spitfire who dyes her hair red and is always involved in some sort of adventure or another. Grace has been nanny-sharing this summer.

Mickie is normally a logical and sensible (but fun!) human being. But….for some reason she bought Grace a turtle for her birthday.

A turtle.

No aquarium, no gravel, no warm light thing….just a turtle. Without asking her parents.

Grace named the turtle Fiona.

Unfortunately for Fiona, and Grace for that matter, the cost of a full turtle set up is quite substantial. Ten gallons of aquarium per one inch of shell length.

Fiona is 5-6 inches long. That’s some aquarium.

Needless to say, Natalie and Mistah are not amused. They are now struggling with how to break the disappointment to Grace gently. And also how to approach a fiesty 68-year-old woman with maroon hair on the inappropriateness of animal gifting.

In the meantime, Fiona is perched on some rocks in a bucket of water in my living room awaiting her fate.

And as Sophie says, “It’s pwetty hawd to give away a tuwtle that alweady has a name.”

It Was A Beautiful Service

24 08 2006
We decided to bury him by the rosebushes.
We lit candles since it was a dusk memorial. And yes, those are rose petals sprinkled on the casket (Or shoebox. He was a size 7 – womens it turns out).
We cheered Frere and his memory with our candles.
The girls wrote a “Top Ten Things I Like About Frere”.
10. He was fun to play with.
9. He was nice to his brother.
8. I liked his red eyes.
7. I liked his fluffy hair after his bath.
6. He wouldn’t move around like Sunny in the bath.
5. His favorite fruit was grapes.
4. He had cute ears.
3. He was quieter than his brother.
2. He was nice to us.
1. He was thoughtful.

It was standing room only. Grace, Natalie, Eric and Roxy the dog came for the ceremony. It was so good for them to come.

Are You Sleeping?

24 08 2006

Remember learning the song “Frere Jacques” (sp?) in school? The French version of the song,

“Are you sleeping
Are you sleeping?
Brother John.
Brother John.

Morning bells are ringing.
Morning bells are ringing.
Ding, ding, dong.
Ding, ding, dong.”

I always get the French and Spanish versions messed up, so I sing,

“Frere Jacques,
Frere Jacques,
Dormes vous? (This is French)
Dormes vous?

Suena la campana.
Suena la campana.
Din, Din, Don. (This is Spanish, I think…)
Din, Din, Don.”

Anyway, one of the girls’ guinea pigs, named Frere Jacques, died last night.


I found that he had diarrhea a bit too late. He was very dehydrated and lethargic. I got up every hour last night to coax drops of water into his mouth and murmur over and over, “It’s okay, Frere…this will make you feel better.”

Well, it didn’t.

He died at about 4 am. I wrapped him one of my last good hand towels (man, I really need new towels) and put him carefully in a shoe box. Then I woke up the girls to let them know.

They just stood around the box, petting him, with tears welling in their eyes. And what made me finally lose it is their murmurs of, “It’s okay Frere. You probably feel better now.”

They are definitely my girls. They may not look much like me, but they definitely have my heart.

He is now, literally, on ice in the cooler on the top shelf of the pantry – awaiting the memorial service and burial this evening. (I felt a bit terrible when I considered making him a toe tag. Terrible, but in a funny way.)

If anyone would like to attend the service (I know it’s short notice) it will be at my house at 7:00 pm tonight. Donations can be made to Cavy Companions in lieu of flowers.

What We Did This Weekend – O! Canada! Edition

22 08 2006

My very best blogger friend (BBFFL) Anika was coming down this past weekend with a car full of friends to go to the Ani Difranco concert and I insisted that they spend that Friday evening after the concert with me. They were super kind and even invited me to come along to the concert…but work reared it’s ugly head.

They did come to spend the night – lined up like sardines on my living room floor. Their Canadian excitement over the inexpensive wines at the grocery store was infectious.

But inexpensive rarely translates to “good”.

This is Anika and her fantastically hysterical boyfriend Jason who kept me laughing with his stories all night. I love a person who can really tell a story. Jason, you can.

And Phil? I’m sure if you have spent any time on Anika’s blog you probably have not seen a picture of him and her. They are a rare treat. He made breakfast Saturday morning. And he’s super tall. That has nothing to do with breakfast you say?

Ha! He is the only one but me that would notice the griddle is located on top of my cabinets, not inside.

Yay for tall people!

This is Kaila and Jessica doing dishes. Aren’t they sweet? Doing dishes!

Here’s the group showing their ID’s in preparation for the border crossing. Jessie (in the front) has no picture ID and was hassled by the mean lady border guard. I think she is practicing her “I didn’t know I had to have ID officer…..really….but see how cute I am” evasive maneuver.

I think it worked because they got home.

Thanks for coming guys!

Work, Work, Work

22 08 2006

I have been ridiculously busy. But don’t feel like you are the only one’s left out of my life. I got this email from my two co-workers today:

We’re sorry Shari, truly we’re sorry…..Daniel promises to stop eating rotten bananas in front of you and I will try not to whine so much if you’ll just come back! We know where you’re hiding anyway so get back in here! It’s not the same without you. We are like a triangle which makes a perfect shape and when one of us is missing the triangle becomes a lopsided “L” and “L’s” never accomplished anything by themselves, only triangles! Deep I know, but I trust you feel it too?

C & D

So I sent this back:

I picture an isosceles triangle. No side being the same length….funky, unpredictable, with limitless possibilities.

I miss you, too. But it will be back to regularly scheduled programming at noon today!

It’s pretty nice to be missed like that.