E-dating = Load of Crap

29 06 2005

Okay, so the other day my friend Kristy and I were watching TV and were arguing a bit about an E-Harmony ad that we saw. She is much more hopelessly romantic than I am when it comes to relationships, or maybe it is best described as me being cynical…. So, we opted to take their survey. Good God! It took about an hour each to finish. AND (here is cynical me talking) Kristy and I were oddly similar as far as the personality profile was concerned. However, we are very different in the following ways….

  1. She is a bleeding-heart, love-will-conquer-all romantic. I am not.
  2. She is a lesbian. I am not.
  3. She likes butch women. I do not (but I do appreciate butch men…).
  4. She likes to spend the majority of her free time with her partner. I do not.
  5. She cannot live without physical touch (ie: cuddling on the couch). I cannot stand unnecessary cuddling.
  6. She likes long walks on the beach……….

Well, you get the picture.

The really ironic thing is that when we got our (almost carbon-copy) profiles back I had matches and she didn’t. She even “played it straight” and asked for a match with men, so that wasn’t the problem. I don’t want to be matched, she does. How weird is this e-harmony matchmaking thing?

So, I get all these matches sent to me, and obviously they did not listen to anything I said in my little quiz thingy. I am getting matched with tons of soldiers from Ft. Lewis, most of whom believe in a “traditional” relationship. Hmmm…. I do not believe in a “traditional” relationship.

Here are some excerpts from recent match profiles…

  1. The one thing Curt wishes MORE people would notice about him is:
    that i have very old fashioned beliefs, (NOT what I am looking for)
  2. The last book Curt read and enjoyed:
    Louis LaMour Sackett Series, I like my westerns and and history (NOT into the “Western” genre, nothing against it, but not a good match e-harmony…)
  3. The most important thing TUAN is looking for in a person is:
    THAT THEY DONT JUDGE GUYS BY THE WAY THEY LOOK ON THE OUTSIDE BUT JUDGE THEM WHAT THEY HAVE ON THE INSIDE. THAT WE GET ALONG TOGETHER AND THAT WE HAVE SOME THINGS IN COMMON AND THEY ACCEPT ME THE WAY I AM (absolutely fantastic and great, but Tuan DON’T YELL AT ME!)
  4. Some additional information TUAN wanted you to know is:
    THAT IM NOT THAT GREAT LOOKING BUT I THINK I HAVE THE QUALITIES AND THE HEART TO TREAT A LADY LIKE THE WAY THEY SHOULD BE TREAT. (Great honesty, poor proofreading, and I am a bit afraid that the way I should be “treat” may be a bit different that what you are expecting. AGAIN WITH THE YELLING!)
  5. One thing that only JOAQUIN’s best friends know is:
    That I am very loyal and will always be there in there time of need. (I can get a dog for that, no offense)
  6. Some additional information Douglas A wanted you to know is:
    I truely believe that it is inportant that a couple be able to hold a mature conversation. But, not all the time, they should aslo be able to talk silly to each other and make each other laugh. (You goofy little pooky-bear……I think I’d rather puke.)

I am having a hard time believing in this whole e-harmony profile matching system. It does not seem to have grasped my personality at all. It may have misconstrued bitterness for “playing hard to get”, I don’t know. I just don’t trust it.

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